He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
