So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
