yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
