ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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