I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
