Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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