His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
