Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
