I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
