There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
