Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
