I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
