Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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