I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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