dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
