i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
