Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
