fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
