The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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