i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
