She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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