Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize