The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
