She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
