no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
