I want to walk on stilts...naked
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
