Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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