You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
