We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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