I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
