I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
