some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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