Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
