i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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