and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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