Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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