The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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