I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize