We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize