Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
