No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
