Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
