Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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