i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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