Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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