Buhtt sex?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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