My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think i got beer on your cat.
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