i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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