I'm really into asian looking animals
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
