put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
