I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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