So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
