is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize