I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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