Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
