on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
