could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
