You're so nebulous sometimes
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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