PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
operation harelip BJ is a go
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
