Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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