She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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